Life as Normal
by The Wonk
Summary: This is a violent, out of character story about Keitaro living a lie. He is a killer trying to live the peaceful life, but he finds out that he can't run from his past.


Author's Note: So this is my experimentation with first person narratives. As a warning, this story is violent, out of character, and could be considered done in poor taste. Also, I have this voice in my head with a western twang to it, which I'm trying to infuse into my writing. So if you have any questions on why a Japanese character speaks in a western twang, it's cuz I just felt like it. Your reviews will dictate whether or not I'll pursue this story.

**Life as Normal**

I don't know what made me think I could get away with it. A man with a past like mine never gets to forget the wrong he did. If he's lucky, he just gets a bullet in the head and be done with it.

But I was never a lucky man.

A year ago, I moved in to my granny's place. Boy, I can remember my first day. I didn't know that the old lady had converted the old inn of my youth into an all-girls dormitory. If I had, I probably would have been prepared for the reception I got.

Instead, a leggy blonde came strolling into my life with a thunderous crash – of her fist that is. Yeah, she punched me because I saw her naked. In my defense, she was the one who walked in on me while bathing, but Naru Narusegawa was never one for listening to explanations.

She let her fist do the thinking for her.

I guess that's why I love the girl so much. I tell her that it's because she reminds me of some girl I made a promise with, but that's not entirely true. I mean, I did make a promise when I was five. But c'mon, who keeps a promise like that? No the truth is much uglier.

I love violence, which also includes violent women.

For the past twenty some years of my life, I've been killing one thing or another. First it was my mother during childbirth. The doctor said it was due to complications, but my father said it best, "bastard kid just fell out of sorts with her is all."

The only one at the Hinata Sou who knows the truth is Haruka. I call her auntie even though she's my step-sister and former lover. It's a crazy story, but something I won't get into here. This story ain't hers, it's mine.

You see, I wanted to give up that life of death and murder. There was no grand moment; no doey-eyed kid who made me saw the error of my ways. Nope, I just decided that I had enough of the killing. So I asked my granny if could crash at her place for awhile, till I get my bearings.

She took a big risk saying yes and not telling me about the girls. I could have easily killed them all, burned down the house, and pissed on the ashes. She took a gamble all right, but then again, she is going senile.

That granny is a crack up.

So for the past year, I've been Keitaro Urashima, bungler, loser, and perpetual nice guy. You would think the girls, being girls, would be nicer to a guy like that, but nope. There's a foreign chick who keeps beating me up with her robots and other confounding contraptions. Then there's a samurai girl playing mystic Asian chop sakey bull shit with me.

The funny thing is that it don't bother me none. They hit me, ridicule me, and a whole lot of other sinful things, but it don't phase me at all. You got to remember, there was a time when I would have killed you for looking at me funny.

If you actually started the fight, I'd kill your dog too, and anyone in the blast radius. But when it came to the girls, I just smiled and took it like a drunken prom date. My shrink, before I stabbed him, told me that it was my way of dealing with the guilt.

But that's neither here nor there.

Don't get me wrong, it's a real trip living at the Hinata Sou. There's this little girl named Shinobu. Man, can she cook. She's also the sweetest thing. She reminds me of my little sister. She's dead though. No need to go there.

Kitsune, the resident drunk, is also a good source for kicks. She likes to rub her huge melons all up my body. Great stuff! Man, when I decide to take her, she's going to be surprised how well endowed this "mouse" really is.

And finally, there's Naru, my OTL: one true love. Yep, I think I stuck it out originally for her. The moment she grabbed my Johnson and dragged me about like some puppy dog on that first day, I knew I wanted her to be my wife.

But how could a respectable girl like that fall in love with a monster like me. I guess that's what the lies were for.

Dreams of Tokyo University, failing the entrance exams twice, Haitani and Shirai as my best friends, these were all lies. The hell would I go Tokyo U? I'm a Harvard man after all. I also think Shirai killed Haitani a few weeks ago, something about gambling debts.

Life wasn't perfect, but it was nearly there.

I loved getting up in the morning, thinking of new ways of getting a rise out of the girls. A peek there, a misplace hand here, it was all so much fun.

And I like the way they looked at me. There's something about a smile that just makes my day, do you know what I mean? No trace of fear or hate in their expression, just friendship.

I guess that's why I came to like my little arrangement here: it's peaceful.

But peace for men like me don't last long, no matter how much I will it.

It started the other day. I was outside, scrubbing the stone patio that led to the hot spring. Like any other day, Kitsune came out to flirt with me. Man, does she want me, it's ridiculous. "Hey, Keitaro, whatchya doing?' she asked demure like, bending over so I could see the fissure she called cleavage.

I took it in stride of course.

"What are you doing?" I shrieked, fumbling the brush that I was using. It took some effort, but I was able to force myself to blush. Mind you, I lost my cherry to a Tijuana stripper when I was 13, so it's not like I ain't never known a woman before. But I like playing the hapless idiot.

Kitsune just giggled in response, allowing me the pleasure of seeing her massive melons jiggling in sync with her laughter. But I didn't have time to appreciate her natural assets. I felt a presence, something dark.

After years of hunting men for a living, I developed a sensitive nose to blood, and the wind carried its scent. Someone was intending to commit murder and they were getting closer.

Kitsune must have seen the change in my expression, because she asked, "Is there something wrong?" It took me a moment to think of a response. I didn't want to give up on the charade, but the killing energy I was feeling was growing, leaving little time to act.

"Get inside," I barked, scaring the hell out of the girl. When she didn't leave, I gave her the stare. It was the stare that I normally reserved for my enemies, but I needed her gone – fast. She booked, terrified by the soulless dead eyes of Keitaro Urashima, killer, ravager, and all around bad man.

"Urashima!"

Christ, it was that Motoko girl, yelling my name like she owned it. Normally, I'd just cower and fumble my words, but whatever was coming for me – I assumed it was coming after me – was already here.

Motoko seemed like she wanted to teach me some manners for treating Kitsune so rough, but there was no time for that. I wrapped my left arm around her slender waist and pulled her in. From her expression, I knew that she was about to grab for her sword, but I didn't give her time. I planted my lips on hers, and for good measure, I slipped her the tongue.

It was like turning on a light switch. After a few seconds of resistance, she just melted into my arms. She even grabbed my ass. Now, I'm in love with Naru, but that don't mean I can't still play the field and Motoko was one of those chicks that was worth a beating or two.

But I didn't have time for any of that. After kissing her, I went straight for her ear, nibbling those perfect little lobes. She purred in response, but it didn't last long. While still nibbling, I whispered into her ear, "Be ready to attack when they come."

I guess it was at that point that she was able to feel the killing aura that surrounded us. I sensed her fear rising. A killing aura is nothing to laugh about. I ralphed the first time I felt it, I was seven at the time, but still, I could understand what she was going through.

Death never felt good, especially the malicious side of it. To calm her, I looked her in the eyes and gave her a smile. "There's two behind you and six behind me," I whispered before kissing her one more time.

From the feel of it, her body was relaxing from the near rigid state that it was in before. "Good," I thought, a perfect state for killing the enemy. I don't know what was going on in her head though, cuz the next moment, I saw a tear running down her cheek.

But there was no time to ask why. I tore from the kiss, she doing the same, and charged the bushes before me. A dagger was hurled in my direction, but I caught it before it could land.

"Fool," I uttered to the man that I cut in half. I could tell from his eyes that he was cursing himself for handing me the weapon that killed him. Tough luck there fella. His compatriot, a bit niffed that I sliced his friend up some, came at me with a vengeance. Dressed in black, the shinobi hurled dozens of shruikens at me.

It was real pretty. The poison that tipped each of the ninja stars glistened in the sunlight, creating a rather magnificent visual effect. I dodged them easily enough, remembering my training with granny Hina and Haruka.

Though, they used bullets instead of shruikens.

From my left, a man armed with a spear came at me. A guy with steel claws was blocking my escape on the right. They were trying to box me in, take away my mobility: a good strategy against an amateur, but not for an experienced killer like me. Plucking a few of the shruikens from the air, I hurled them at the man with the spear. He managed to intercept them all, but not the dagger that I had thrown right behind one of the stars. From the sound, I could tell the dagger had pierced his eyeball, penetrating the brain, killing him instantly.

"Damn," I cursed, frustrated that I killed him too quickly. I guess I really was out of practice. "Bastard," claw man yelled out, but I cut his rant short with a tiger paw to the throat. He writhed on the ground in agony, his body asphyxiating from the lack of oxygen. It would take a few minutes for him to die. "Better," I noted.

The ninja star guy and the other two men held in reserve decided to attack all at once, hoping that a bum rush could do what their prior strategy had failed to accomplish.

Unfortunately, I wasn't in the mood to die that day. I charged them, dodging their combined attacks. I leapt over the man in the middle, grabbing his head in mid-air, and using my forward momentum to snap his neck. Before the other two had a chance to react, I already had my hand buried in one of their chest, ripping out the heart. The other man turned to run, too afraid to think clearly. If he had, he'd probably know that he was going to die anyway, might as well die like a man, instead of a coward. I landed on top of him, taking his own knife that hung on his belt and plunged it into the back of his head.

I had not time to bask over my kills. I could still hear the clanging of metal behind me. Motoko was still fighting off the two men that were attacking her. At first, I was surprised that it was taking her so long, until it dawned on me.

She wasn't trying to kill them. The fool girl was actually trying to incapacitate them and that was just going to get her killed. I rushed over to her side, but it was too late. One of the ninjas had managed to evade Motoko's attack and countered with a viscous thrust into her abdomen.

I could hear Motoko scream in pain as the blade sunk into her belly. I felt my anger stir for the first time in this fight. The one who took her down didn't see me coming. From the shriek, I could tell the attacker was a woman, like it mattered. Using my speed attack, I hurled the attacker against the wall, while throwing the other ninja into the hot spring. In a split second, I had rushed the ninja girl, grabbing her neck, and slamming her against the wall. Without wasting anymore time, I plunged my hand into her belly, piercing the flesh, and ripped out her intestines. She howled in agony as I let her collapse to the floor. For good measure, I stomped on her left knee, liquefying the bone. Feeling the life ebb from her, I turned my attention to the last of the ninjas as he leapt from the hot spring. From the deranged look in his eyes, I guess the woman that I had just killed was someone close to him.

Not wanting to separate them, I evaded his attack, got around him, and broke his neck in one fluid motion, allowing him to drop next to the dying ninja girl. Now I'm not a sadist or anything like that, I don't get a kick of out of watching people suffer. I just have a mean temper. She hurt my friend, so she needed to suffer. Disembowelment and watching her lover die was just punishment in my book.

After dispatching the threat, I ran over to Motoko. Cradling her in my arms, I examined the wound. It was deep, but nothing fatal. It was then I noticed the blue in her lips. She was shivering, but not from the loss of blood. I recognized the signs. "Damn," I spat out, cursing the ninjas for their despicable tactics. They had poisoned their weapons, enabling them to inflict mortal wounds no matter how superficial the cut was.

From her expression, I could tell Motoko knew that she was dying. She looked into my eyes, and gave me no hint of fear. "Good girl," I told her, acknowledging her courage. She smiled in response. The poison was taking hold, however, causing her to spasm. I could see the fear rise up in her. "Don't" she gasped, "want…to…leave…you."

The realization hit me hard. She shed that tear because she was happy. I knew that she didn't hate me as she made it out to appear, but instead, loved me. When I kissed her, she finally felt the confidence to express her feelings to me in the only manner she knew how.

She fought and was going to die as a warrior.

She would not show me weakness or regret.

Over the years, I have watched many of my friends and comrades die, many in my arms. But this was the first time I actually felt something – loss. I didn't want her to die. I held her tight, trying to infuse my warmth into her cold body. I could feel her tears as she struggled to say the words.

I love you Keitaro.

Not knowing what else to do, I kissed her, pouring all my emotions into it. I could feel her grip on my hand tighten. I could taste the mixture of salty tears and the almond flavor of the poison on her lips.

She held onto me, still embraced in the kiss, as her body shuttered to a stop.

Then she was gone.


End file.
